It is, of course, no surprise that parents of a newborn would expect not to get a whole lot of sleep. However, it is widely assumed that the sleeping/eating patterns of the newborn would be the culprit of long sleepless nights, and not a toddler who has regressed to waking up multiple times a night...just.because.he.can. Liam has always been a pretty good little sleeper, except for occasional illness, travel, etc. Yet we have found ourselves in a horrible sleep/wake cycle with Liam that is leaving us desperately tired during the day. Let me also spend a moment pitying myself for not being able to have caffeine yet. Or more alcohol (judge me if you will) than an occasional glass of wine.
Nights filled with pumping, feeding, and waking with Liam has left both me and Eric desperate for sleep. Add to it, two dogs who occasionally hear the wind blow, prompting a series of barks that may or may not wake the kids. The worst part is that Liam cannot seem to be comforted. He does not want his dad. He does not his mom. But he doesn't NOT want us either! The moment we start to leave the room he screeches, "don't leave!" We used to be able to give him a sippy cup of water to comfort him, but with potty training that seems to have gone out the door. And because the kids rooms are next to each other, one child usually ends of waking the other one.
As a result of this pattern, I find myself with much less patience during the day to deal with situations involving a Mother Theresa amount of grace. He is really testing his boundaries with the full intent of someone heading into the "thre-evils." Sometimes I wonder if it is just me and my struggles to reign him in, but Eric seems to be having the same battles when he is home. Liam is spending so much time in time out these days, I half expect to see his name carved in the wood of his bed with little tick marks showing the days. I know that this is just a season of my life, but sometimes I freak out, wondering if I made the right decision to stay home. I realize that regardless of whether I was working, we would still be having certain long nights and battles on behavior, I can't help but wonder again if the grass is really greener on the other side. Damn other side. Did I mention that lack of sleep makes me mean?
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| Even Ansley looks a little sleepy here. |
1 comment:
Oh girl- I cannot even begin to tell you how much I relate to this post! Reading this made me feel like I was reading about my life! I just keep telling myself it is a phase and hopefully within time will go away. And then there will be a whole new set of worries at that time! I don't think you should be hard on yourself for making the decision to stay home. Although somedays may seem hard, your children will grow up and thank you for giving so much of yourself to them. Keep your head up and remember when you feeling all alone in your home and about to pull your hair out, someone else is doing the same exact thing, you're not alone!
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